Be a Winner where it Matters...
Being an Entrepreneur has its own rewards, Most people choose to start their business to craft a Life of Freedom for themselves; However, in most cases, they end up becoming a slave to their enterprise.
A Coach (A Life Coach or a Business Coach) will help you here to get your freedom back in your hands.
Their life revolves around their business, the work-life balance deteriorates, Stress mounting and impacting their Health, relationships & overall wellbeing. Is more of your time as well as Energy is sucked into the venture day by day? Mostly Resulting in mediocre results and accepting whatever fate offers to you as alms.
Ever heard of the expression “the Tail wagging the Dog”?
That’s exactly what happens with most Entrepreneurs, Find below Top 5 reasons why you need a Business Coach to reach your goals.
Crystalizes your Vision– A Coach helps you see farther than your Myopic or tunnel vision while being on the Driver’s seat. A Birdseye view will awaken you to the possibilities in far-flung terrain. The Business Coach works with you to help remove Haze on your Business vision, help you identify what to attach significance and what to declutter.
Any Successful business has clear goals, priorities and is dependent only on the Business Owner.
Can you Imagine where would a driver with disabled vision will lead you to?
Help you Leverage– Entrepreneurs are on the Top of the Pyramid and mostly have reached up through Linear strategy. Doing everything, setting their own high standards, keeping everything under their control. Isn’t it like the “I am a syndrome or Playing God?” They even tend to not hire employees in time because they aspire to find an exact replica of themselves and eventually ending up dealing with hiring and retention issues again and again. Their expectation from their employees is as much as they expect from themselves or Delivered.
Entrepreneurship is Overwhelming and head spinning for most people, there is a need for semblance to the chaos and your Business Coach is trained to do so.
Shared Accountability – At your work you are at the top of the Pyramid, there is no one to Hold you to account, there is no one who has the vision and growth as dear to them as much as to you. By having a Coach you have an Accountability partner who would be a constant reminder to who you can be. The coach will constantly reinstate your faith, trust, and confidence in you.
To others who have no accountability you may slither from what’s important or critical by giving excuses, But to yourself and your coach dodging is not an option.
You may even be affected by the opinion of others and accept their point of view as reality and get disempowered; A Coach will help these point of views tested on the Truth Scale and get you to be empowered separating the wheat from the chaff in a sea of opinions and judgments.
Take you from Pitfall to a Pitstop – Entrepreneurship is an ongoing process and most Businessmen want Continues until they decide to hang their boots for retirement. Being engaged in a Rut do not give a Businessman enough time or leave you with energy to think what lies beyond your current Productivity- Efficiency & Effectiveness.
You may have Heard of the Woodcutter who day by day increased his time spent cutting trees but making the same or a lesser amount of money; because he did not stop to rest, recuperate and sharpen his Axe.
A Coach serves as a PitStop where you realign your efforts to your vision, service yourself and equip yourself with renewed energy boosters and ideas.
Stretch beyond Limitations– if you think coaching would be a relaxing massage, think again because it could be the most uncomfortable yoga position that you ever tried! A Coach will challenge you to Stretch beyond your limitations, help you break every glass ceiling or wall around you to reach the best you can be.
A Coach will bring out the Champion that the world is yet to see!
A Lot of times Fear may grip you, there may be too many limitations building up and you may even be avoiding conflicts; That’s when your Coach instills the courage to do what you have never done, After all for Extraordinary results you got to be extraordinary too. Your coach is your gateway to exploring new skills, acquire relevant knowledge for newer conquests and challenges.
Coaching will get you the Adrenalin Shot that is required to be bigger than you think you are.
Only mediocrity grows in comfort zone, What are you growing?
A Coach will be the catalyst to get you out of your comfort zone where you feel safe and are in Control. While in the comfort zone, you feel unfulfilled deep down and not able to get out on your own; isn’t it why you are reading this Article? For any other reason, you may even skip the Whole Article.
Are you someone who was sure of what you wanted to be? or did you chose what came your way?
Either way, the times changed, You progressed and after years, you reached a standstill.
Do you feel Frustrated all the time or progressed as if you are sleepwalking like a zombie?
A point where there is no wind of change or a breath of fresh air or a whiff of Joy.
This could also be a kind of comfort zone while it doesn’t make you happy, The idea of moving out of it instills a lot of Fear of unknown or Fear of Failure.
If you think you are ready to move, Take a leap of faith right now to make your move in Job, Career or Entrepreneurship or whatever profession you want now.
It is difficult to say that it won’t happen to you; It certainly is a stage of life which comes to almost everybody.
Top Executives, Professionals, even Housewives (Empty Nest syndrome) and earlier the age bracket it attacked was 40+ years,
With changing times Mid-Life crisis attacks as early as the late twenties when they have reached the top of the career where they envisioned themselves to be, But what next?
Turn Mod-Life crisis into an opportunity to make new goals and find your hidden Potential.
Get your reasons right and you will get what you want right!
Who hasn’t been in a relationship that needs to be worked on or who don’t like to? or Have you given up and in despair?
Are your relationships enriching? Are you getting what you want out of them? Do you even know what you want from your relationships?
Relationships and the desired outcome from them may appear to be eluding like sands of time slipping from your hand.
Struggling in a Relationship or find a Partner?
What are you willing to do about it?
Playing in comfort zone, Not willing to take risks and saying no to opportunities could be the reason that you are still wanting and not close to getting it as yet.
Nothing succeeds like an idea whose time has come. There are thousands of Management principles and success stories to support you. What worked for them may work for you, But too much information will only baffle you.
You have put everything on Stake to get what you want, And clarity and Focus at this juncture are non-negotiable.
You may have limited resources in terms of Time Money and Effort(energy or manpower), losing any of them or inefficient use of any of them will be unaffordable and detrimental for your success. What are you willing to do to ensure success that you aspire for? Everything? Really?
Unless you know what are you focusing on how will you achieve it?
If you don’t know where you are going, anywhere should be fine!
However, if you want to know where you want to go, This is where the buck stops.
It will be a deep diving process that requires you to stretch, But you will get the required Focus and Clarity to move ahead in your life with confidence.
Would it be something that you aspire for? Something that Touches, moves and inspires you?
Wake up every day with Joy, Zest and Hope?
There are thousands of success stories and now you are writing one of your own.
Did you sharpen the Axe Often? Are you on track or is it breaking down? Are you getting Tired?
Are you even putting your 100%? Do you still feel this plane would take off?
Know what’s working, works or not working at all!
Running a Business requires no Short-Cuts, what you got to do and with the integrity and the way you said you would do and much more.
Are you willing to put this last bit into your business?
You are not the only one asking for Health + Fitness + Peace of Mind = Wellness
Your Body is the only one to be with you until your last breath. what are you feeding it with? How are you making it strong? How are you enriching your souls Temple?
Do you have a plan? a strategy? How would it end up looking like? Measurable actions? diet? Exercise regime? Leisure time? Thoughts you feed? and the company you keep? Work-Life Balance?
The Delta difference between the life you have and the Life you want to have is the reason for the discontent, despair and the hollow feeling you are living with. When the efforts in the past have not worked, then its time to change the course and not the destination.
The expression on the topic is an outcome of splendid responses on my Linkedin and Facebook Timeline from many of you on “When is it…..That a person has completely failed in life????”
What we all cumulatively agreed is that failure is only a temporary, Its a Feeling of having lost and with most of us is temporary.
Feeling of Failure would only be a cause of concern, when one starts living his life with the belief of oneself “Being a Failure”. Such Belief is disempowering and will only pull one down and push into a state of inactivity.
It is only a matter of time that one realises it is a slip and not a fall, the only way is it to get up, dress up and show up again. The show must go On.
Even when we stop trying again, it is not failure, It is just inaction….There is no Permanence unless there is a belief that it’s over.
Followed up by investing time and energy in brooding, Being bitter, pitying yourself, feel victimised, sorry yourself and externalise or beat yourself to pulp emotionally.
In different words i was told that “Failures are pillars of Success” and when one have failed a many number of times, they were busy learning how not to fail until they get success.
Consider there is a failure and one feels that they have failed in life……………..
What next? It doesn’t end then? Right?
What would they do now?
Would life end? Is it frozen and movement stopped at all? Did the breathing Stop? Is it really Numb?
So the Ultimate Failure in life is when you give, give up to stand, give up to try again, give up to honour your word or yourself.
So Failure is a Myth, cos if you are still alive or have a reason to Live…Then you have not failed as yet .
So like in a Video Game when you lose and it says “Game Over” that means you have lost the game, Smile and Click now on “New Game” and Play that Again 🙂
Thank you all for your Valuable inputs.
The Passion, Love and Zeal for life that i saw in participants below, was commendable.
#ManojKhiyani #RohitGirdhar #Changappa, Shruti Swaroop, Saurabh Minocha, Jayati Sarkar, Indra Kumar, Ajay Shimoga, Ashish Batra, Sourabh Goyal, Pallavi Banga, Vibha Mishra, Gurvinder Jit singh Ghumman, Sumit Sehrawat, Rajiv Tripathi, virender lepcha, Vineet chandar jardayal, Sapnna R J Singh, Nella Bokman, Anjali Joshi, Sharad Sharma, Aarti Chawla, Vishwanath Gowda, Michelle reid, Hari Ranga, aushik Chakraborty, Deepesh Sharma, Mohit Aggarwal, Aparna Sharma, Srinivas velidanda, Rajat Chopra and Jean Martin Daigle.
Life is Good, Cheers!
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Let’s explore what coaching can do for you; This is an Invitation for a Tete-a-tete, a Chit-Chat to come together to put a finger to what you want.
This is an Invitation for a cup of coffee with a coach.
With 20 years of experience in multiple roles; leading recruitment teams across India in IT Education, Oil & Gas, an IPC- Facility Management and hiring for varied industries like FMCG, Insurance, Consumer Durable, Healthcare, to recruitment Consulting, Training, Advertising and Sales. I coach to produce powerful results, when you are at crossroads or when one of your dream got washed, when you chose a business suit over your old torn jeans.
Some areas may be working very well in your life, whereas in others there may still be that restlessness, a stagnancy and that’s where I may help.
All I need from you is commitment to Courage, Humility & Discipline to get anything you aspire for.
The first coaching session itself can be an eye opener for 90% of the people; a realization that there is a hidden power inside you, a giant that is waiting to be unleashed.
Do not wait for things to turn-in on their own; take a step and connect with me….
-To find your life purpose/ break performance barriers and Job Satisfaction or to learn to use their inner compass for New and Remarkable Breakthroughs.
-If you would like to be a Marshall Goldsmith Certified coach or GrowMore coach for your ICF ACC Certification.
Feel Free to connect with me for a Coffee Cup Conversation.
Call me at 9811175380 or Write to me on email@example.com
Life is Good, Cheers!
Want to Say Hello? Click Here
The difference between action and inaction is of a Compelling reason.
Some of my Clients shared with me the reasons of what made them sign up to work with me as a coach.
In this Article, i am sharing with you a Compilation of reasons that have compelled different people to work with a Coach.Some of these may help you move forward and take a decision.
It takes a while to understand that being Busy is not same as being productive.
When someone says that “They are busy and do not have time to focus on that critical task, Its like them saying “they were too Busy Driving, therefore don’t have time to fuel their car.
They tried Coffee Breaks, Book reading, Yoga, Exercise, Practicing mindfulness or Meditation to refuel; But all these were not sustainable for everyone.
To ensure Success, they chose to have a Coach by their side.
Need for a Solid Ground
Ever Heard from the Top Management professionals “it gets lonely at the Top”
Imagine being a CXO, You have a new dream product/ Service or Project on which the future of company depends and the environment is very dynamic. You have your anxiety, You have planned over and over, But still the fear grips you; As a Leader, “Come what may” you may not like to express your fears, anxiety or insecurities to your team. You only wished that you could speak to Someone who could Listen without judgement, Someone who would listen to understand and not to React, listen without jumping to conclusions or telling you things you already know.
They chose a Coach as a Solid & Reliable support system. Someone who shares their vision and is as much in the game as you.
They have done all they could already; They have knocked doors of Family, Friends, Colleagues, Mentors, even Soothe-sayers and Astrologers.
They feel that the solution is outside of them and hence are going by the suggestions and information pouring from all sources, the internal compass stops pointing to their true North.
Self Awareness and admittance of their state of mind is the revelation of truth.
A lot of complex problems have simple solutions; A coach may take you back to basics and build on back to what you want to achieve.
They displayed Trust and Faith on the coaching process.
They are Successful, They have achieved much in life, But there is craving for more, They relentlessly worked on themselves. They know they are Good but that is not enough, They have not yet reached their Optimum Best.
Hope is the only thing that keeps them going, deep inside they feel there is still something that can be done and they have only Exhausted the possibilities of the Known.
Coaching works best for people who want to continuously Grow and are already Successful.
Unravel the mysteries of their Belief Systems and delve into the treasures of their Sub-Conscious.
A Dream Project, a Mega Deal, a New Role or any kind of Challenge that is not just important but critical to them; They know Come what may they will be able to do it, But they do not want to leave any stone unturned.
There is no option of reaching a point in future where they look back with regret for the actions not taken and Options not explored.
They were high on Commitment and asking for additional help do not make them feel small, But only to ensure that they are Bigger than who they are now.
They were not afraid or shy of asking for help; Humility makes them move ahead and Ego have no place in their life.
It is important to know, if in your Current State of mind whether you are ready to be Coached?
Take the online assessment by clicking HERE to see if this is the right time to get in touch with a coach.
A Score of 35 and Above should be a signal enough to signup with a coach and achieve what your have been aspiring for in shorter time than you have imagined.
Life is Good, Cheers!Geet Batra
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I was always intrigued by people from varied backgrounds choosing to be a coach and came to an astounding realisation that I was limited in my thinking that ‘ONLY’ HR & Training professionals would choose to be a Certified Professional Coach.
Since these compassionate people committed to working towards transforming lives of people around them using the coaching methodology; I couldn’t help but compile my interaction with different coaches and their experiences.
It must have taken immense courage and conviction to choose their path to be a coach working independently; at the same time learn the art of Entrepreneurship to quit their plush fat salaried job and stand up for making a difference to lives of people whom they don’t even know yet.
I learnt from them that being a Professional coach is not just a career option; it needs to be fuelled by Passion then only it will give them the fulfilment they have been seeking in life.
Raised Awareness and Mindfulness
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on it, I would use the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.” – Albert Einstein
Mrinal Shastri says “very often I have observed that people are confused with “What they need” vs. “What they want”. Many of us seeking answers to wrong questions or in wrong places.
The key impact that a coach makes is about making the client be aware of his feeling thoughts actions and Behaviour, This is a double-edged sword that
Not only Impacts the coachee, But also the coach. It takes a coach to a new level of Self-Awareness and there is no way that they can dodge it if they wish to be successful.”
Shruti adds “With coaches around, this world will be a better place. When you become a coach, you tend to learn to look inwards and be more aware of your reactions and emotions. This awareness has positively affected all aspects of my life; I believe I am now a better professional, a better wife and a better mother.”
Vishakha sees herself as a glow that spreads peace; Being a coach helped me to go within, reflect and raise my own level of self-awareness. It helped me to come out of a trap where I see most people live believing that they do not have a choice; whereas they have not yet worked on their blind spots; There is more to it than meets the Eye.
Vasundhara Talware exclaims “I am even more wired and connected yet calm and in control from within. It’s a beautiful state I am experiencing every moment.”
Free yourself & others
Everywhere around we have behavioural and social rules that one invariably imposes on others or threaten them with consequences of rejection, disapproval and making them feel outcasted. We are surrounded by hundreds of judgement as hurdles to move on; It requires us to steer our path ahead and succumb to them.
Coaching is a way to make a coach free of Judgement towards the client and allows a client a safe space to BE who they wish, and find their lost power.
Sudhanshu says “There is a huge amount of stress everywhere, resulting from the complex environment we are living in; There is a high level of noise and air pollution, excessive bombarding of information, too many distractions and all these are adding a new challenge to our regular work and personal life challenges. With coaching, We can help a client identify what truly matters to them and help them achieve results in that area in a subtle, non-intrusive and in a manner they choose to.
The first and profound learning from the training that 90% of coaches admit that they have been better Listener. I am yet to come across a forum or training that do not lay emphasis to not listen actively.
Listening is not to react but to understand and then respond without the need to interject, assume or jump to conclusions.
Mrinal shares “I am more empathetic towards others since i became a coach; the impact was on my overall interpersonal skills. I do not offer my opinions or advise any more, in fact I help my colleagues look at solutions that are more suited to them.”
Sagarika Mishra says “Coach Training has made me non-judgemental about people and things, and If at all it happens, i am fully aware of it and do not allow it to interfere with my actions. Now i am more curious to understand people and their perspectives rather than giving my suggestions or advice to them; So that they are inspired to take their own decision as they have all the answers within themselves.”
New Found Courage and Confidence
Manju says every session conducted was comparable to looking into the mirror without holding back anything and every question asked from a coachee was reflective on me; answering that for myself created a positive shift in my mindset. Each session was unique and left me wiser than ever before; I experienced a paradigm shift inside out.
She also shares ‘While I find it strange but true what my Master Coach said: “You will attract clients you can handle and would be able to relate, I am amazed at how coaching is so powerful and intuitive?“
“Having the courage to live a life of my choice has been the biggest takeaway for me.
By being a coach, I moved from living a default or an auto-pilot routine of life like most others to living in conscious awareness. This gave me clarity and courage to say “No” to many things that were not helping me. The resulting confidence brings about a certain ease and aura visible to people around.” says Vishakha.
Sonal coaches a lot of teenagers and has a very uplifting experience with them; She shares an instance where the impact on her clients.
Once she was coaching a couple of girls who live in a home for girls and women (Details not to be Disclosed – Coaching Confidentiality Agreement) where she was given to understand that teenagers may not be very receptive to coaching and it won’t be of help; within 3 months she was proud to certify this belief as a myth, because “Coaching always works”. The girls moved ahead with a new Found Courage and confidence that was unmatchable.
Performance and productivity at Work
The core purpose of Coaching is to unleash the untapped Potential and use what you have optimally, rather than looking upwards in the sky for more. To be the best version of yourself these coaches work on the Blind Spots and the power of the Subconscious mind.
Like many others, Sudhanshu Mishra is using coaching in his own career rather than setting up his own practice as an independent coach.
Sudhanshu says “Being a coach inspires me to look at any situation or problem from multiple perspectives which helped him to create stronger relationships, and respect at his workplace. I see tremendous opportunity at work to make a difference in people’s lives with some well-timed coaching interventions and helping them achieve their goals and lead more fulfilling lives.
My relationships have grown and are deep-rooted; I am perceived as an approachable and warm person. Life is Good and i am positive about it; Some values like abundance, kindness and care have become an integral part of my thought process.”
Rajan Kasture shares a profound impact in his work life and was generous to share in great detail.
“Coaching has helped me to identify and overcome mental barriers with which I was struggling for few years. Today I have become a better HR professional with this art of coaching.
1. I have excelled at interviewing as I encourage a candidate to do more talking and commit myself to listen.
2. I am aware I used to ask closed questions earlier…I have replaced them with open-ended questions…”How & What” has replaced a lot of “why” questions.
Rajan also says “During feedback sessions, i thought my job was to just tell..tell and tell; Post coaching my style changed. Now I encourage them to tell me how or she did…do a self assessment…….what could have made them think that way…….once that person has done self-analysis then presenting your findings becomes easy. I ask them to set up their own standards of improvement with respect to the assessment and come up with solutions…my suggestions are now mere additions which were earlier as recommendations.
It is a delight to see some peers follow me as to how effective feedback is given.”
Ashwin Kukreja have experienced “My performance at work has increased tremendously, I am able to see things which I couldn’t earlier, I am able to overcome challenges faster and effectively.
Being a coach has transformed my outlook positively towards health and the environment. I started paying heed to small things, happy moments and creating beautiful memories, these were things I had not bothered about earlier. Out of Gratitude for what received, I would now everything like to give back and it feels exciting to think of different ways I can contribute to others and the world at large.
Happiness and positivity empower me to not leave any stone unturned to light up the lives of people who exist in my contact sphere and also those who are out there ……beyond my reach!”
Peace of Mind & Patience are definite outcomes
Mrinal says “GrowMore self-coaching method has calmed me down. I am much at ease with views and opinions that are way different from mine, being Neutral is easy and natural to me.I believe that whatever is mine will come to me, eventually that has relaxed me; I give my best shot and wait patiently for the outcome.”
Mrinal also shares a recent episode, a younger colleague was quite blunt to an extent of being rude during a business development call; I was surprised to see that I remained calm and objective to steer the conversation in a manner that the colleague realised what was going wrong in our discussion and corrected it.
Manju Says “Being a coach has made me more responsible towards my attitude, my outlook and behaviour. Staying non-judgmental has been the foremost learning, took away a lot of frills attached to being judgmental and have set me free. The changed outlook towards the world around me made me calmer, accommodating and compassionate. Now I may score higher on Emotional Intelligence with improvement on the art of active listening; with an intent to understand and not to answer. Life is good and looks easier; I see opportunities rather than challenges. “
The future of coaching
Dr. Marshall Goldsmith says “ Everybody needs Help and its Okay”
More and more people are coming out of the closet and actively seeking help from coaches. These are the most Secure times than we were ever in, there is no reason to fear, there is no need for the insecurity; You have fought all your battles and came out winning and none of the past fears has killed you so Far.
The era of keeping it to yourself and brooding on your own is gone; the only way to Grow is to seek out a helping hand.
Manju is optimistic about the future of coaching, She believes that the scope of coaching is limitless. The boundaries exist neither in subjects nor on maps. Coaching anyone, anywhere and on any aspect will only leave one enriched.
Her life purpose is to empower people so that they live in the state of self-belief. Empower them to focus on solutions and to own responsibilities for their lives and circumstances.
She aspires to nourish their growth, harness the immense potential which each one of them has and to live a life of purpose and contribution.
Vishakha adds “With a renewed sense of peace it has benefitted the relationships with my family, friends and every person I came across.“
I see the future with abundance and a world full of possibilities. The world is a beautiful place and being a coach gives me the power to make a valuable contribution by hand-holding people to be the best version of who they are and live to their fullest potential.
Priyanka says “My relationship with my daughters ( 16 and 11) & my husband has improved because of enhanced communication and practising the virtue of patience. Coaching has taught me to be available emotionally & mentally with objectivity. All this contributed to a happier me.
Self Love & Fulfilment
“if you don’t love yourself, No one else will”; You are first responsible for yourself; then what is it that makes you do things that you do not Love?
Self Love will be experienced by most successful coaches; Once you become a coach, you will not only cherish this gift But also find others to
Sagarika says “My critical analysis of myself have taken a back seat and is replaced by awareness, Self-acceptance and Self-love.”
Vishakha added coaching qualification that she once aspired for and made a major career shift which gave her the fulfilment she was seeking for.
This world needs more coaches to empower each and everyone looking for answers or seek a fulfilled life and be the Best version of themselves; Till then these are the coaches one may approach to make a difference and stand by you.
Expressing my Gratitude to all these wonderful Coaches who openly Contributed to my Article and helped me compile the experience of being a Certified Professional Coach.
Cheers, Life is Good,
Vote of Thanks & Brief on the coaches who contributed
Sagarika Mishra is an Emotional Wellness Coach, ACC Certified and trained Psychologist.
Rajan Kasture is a HR Consultant in Talent Assessment & HREM
Vasundhara Talware is a Author | Inner Transformation Coach | Life Skills Trainer & a Yogini.
Mrinal Shastri is a Life & Business Coach, HOGAN Personality Assessor, Certified Career Development Facilitator and OD and L&D Consultant
Shruti Swaroop is Marshall Goldsmith & a ACC certified Coach and a HR professional.
Sonal Satelkar is a Learning and Development| Coach| Psychometric| Human Resources| Capability Development
Sudhanshu Mishra is General Manager and Vertical Head – Central Government at Wipro Limited
Priyanka Kumar is a Certified Coach, Image Consultant and a Speaker.
Ashwini Kukreja is a Certified Coach and Director at Realtime IT Concepts Pvt. Ltd
Vishakha Bhagnani is a Personal Effectiveness Coach, Career Guide, L&OD Consultant
Manju Chhabra is a Les Brown and ACC Certified Coach, Speaker & Trainer; Founder of Cactus Lily Consulting
We all love to believe that we “Think a Lot”, and any one who says “you think a lot” mostly will make you agree or feel good. In my words the other person was able to break the ice with you.
But what if i say that you don’t think enough?
I have chosen very simple, common and personal examples so that all the readers may find easier to relate and understand the context.
We don’t think enough…………. rather we apply set of rules, set of Judgements, set of past experiences that we have imbibed from our parents, teachers, Elder ones, friends, society and our immediate environment. We indulge in Anxiety, a constant worry about what you do not wish to happen in future or what happened in past may repeat.
Lets look at some instances; Some of you may not like dogs or pets; In childhood you may have come across a dog for the first time, the dog barked loudly and you were shocked at such loud barking sound. This may have lead to stay away from dogs But did you experience them at their best? A Dog wagging its tail and yapping, eager to play with you, Frolicking towards you, Licking you, sitting next to you when you were sad and nudging you as if saying “it’s all right”.
Or you may have heard someone shouting and you related it to being angry and potentially harming and have chosen to stay away from them.
Some cultures have a tendency to speak loudly, and one may find them crass, rude and uncivilised.
But is this assumption true? Wait to answer…………
Are you certain if its absolutely True? Wait to answer…………
If it’s true how does it make you choose react, what have you done and what are the consequences of your reaction? Wait to answer…………
And what if it isn’t true? What is the impact of not knowing it? Wait to answer…………
Did you ever try to understand where they are coming from, what is important to them, How are they feeling, Did you Listen to them with an Intent to understand or only to react. Or did you realise that someone is not what you perceived them to be after a few interactions?
Somewhere we may have jumped to conclusions to soon; Drop dead Judgemental is what we may have become. Some of the examples are someone who is not dressed well have no sense of style, No table manners is not educated, a worn out shoe is sign of penury, who speak out their mind are rude and uncultured; Someone who isn’t good at English is not smart or unworthy.
Even the concept of Beauty is coming from our conditioned Judgements. Tall, dark and Handsome are the perfect Man (add Rich as well); Woman who is fair, have sparkling eyes, perfect set of teeth, flawless skin are gentle, cultured, fragile are perfect. But ask a mother who is the most beautiful child she’s ever seen and she may not stop talking about her own child. Is her concept of beauty different, what changed? She may even agree with herd mentality if its not about her own child and agree to all the commonalities about what beauty is.
“A Mother is the best example of “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
Why isn’t overweight or obese beautiful to most? Why is Beauty defined only in Physical appearance? If you explore you will find beauty within a character or persona of a person and that’s what most are looking for, But it gets adulterated with asking for one or more of the aspects of what you are conditioned to believe about beauty?
Consider “You are born free” to choose whatever you wish to, What beauty means to you and there is no need to invite any challenge from others; when you learn to accept uniqueness in you.
This what we commonly have started accepting now “Each to his Own”
So are you even free in thinking?
Aren’t minds like Parachutes……… They work only when they are open!
I think enough is said to set up a base for the context, Now think and explore what real thinking is?
True thinking would only begin when you are observant enough, when you listen, are inquisitive and doing it to understand and accept the differences and not to react, But to respond at your own pace(if time allows)
What we actually are doing is not thinking or deep thinking, But using past guidelines and emotions to react and not respond, Operating out of survival and fear and need to react.
I have seen one my very good friend, whenever he used to receive a call which is not expected; he would close his eyes and think, sometimes may not even take the call immediately; But call back once he’s done with his Thinking; needless to say, he’s a very successful family person and Business tycoon.
The Judgements/ Social conditioning is to help you when it is critical in terms of time for the need to react. However when the time is not an immediate constraint, at that moment did you consider “You can just push an Imaginary Button to pause for a while, close your eyes, be with your feeling thoughts and consider all parameters before making a choice to respond.”
You would find the best thinkers who are analytical for example chess Players, They think of all about possible permutations and combinations for every move they make in the game of chess.
Life too is a game of chess, every move that you make will leave your immediate environment be impacted and react as they deem fit as a group or set of unique individuals, But in general, outcome can be predicted with some accuracy as we all are victims of our conditioning.
I am not saying that all of us need to lead life as if life is a giant chessboard. There is also a need for Balance with Emotions; you are not dealing with chess pieces but Humans, They are made of much more than just logic, there is appearances, behaviour, Cultural influences, Aspirations, expectations and your own personal equation(relationship) with them.
Here it gets more complicated then mere chess pieces; Even if they are your own people (chess piece) you have no control on them, their actions, reactions, responses and they are run by their own programming; But that doesn’t stop you from frustrating yourself by doing your best in changing them.
Now you probably may have just started thinking and some of you may hate it to think that much, But that’s what analytical mind is about.
The true Balance is when you are clear on what you want and you are observant of the facts, possible outcomes and Balance it with the possible outcome from your emotive mind as well.
How many times you have been successful in giving excellent advice to someone for a situation; however when you yourself are in that situation, you felt helpless? A doctor doesn’t treat himself
According the Opinion 8.19 of the AMA Code of Medical Ethics, “physicians generally should not treat themselves or members of their immediate families.” The AMA cites the following reasons:
(a) Professional objectivity may be compromised when an immediate family member or the physician is the patient; the physician’s personal feelings may unduly influence his or her professional medical judgment. to read more click here
So what I am inviting is to identify your emotions and see if you have really thought through or are you in reaction mode.
An Obvious question is how will doing this help?
It will help you in your own Growth, the supreme quality of decisions and the confidence with which you take the decisions for your future. These decisions will not be under a conflict but clarity; They will help you move past hurdles and not be at a standstill or a stuck up situation.
Probably you may need to explore your free self or even better get to be who you are deep down, You would be digging Gold deep inside you that you never thought for it to exist and that would be a True lesson of Self-Worth
An example from my recent interaction with a 27-year-old girl; She was very frustrated in looking for a right marriage proposal; After almost meeting 40 potential matches she felt like giving up. I asked her to put aside her thoughts for a while and did the Future pacing exercise with her and asked; You are married and are living happily few years from now and asked her to paint a picture on what is it that you are doing then? what parts of your life are you enjoying? what are you feeling blessed about? And what is one thing that your future self is asking you on not to compromise on?
“And when we started talking about what she is looking for, She came back with a long list she had imposed on herself like Earning minimum 30 lakhs a month, age below 30 years, must be minimum 180 cms tall, should be a Rajput, must be athletic and love classical music and rock climbing and should not be from other than Gujarat or Rajasthan.”
none of these parameters was aligned with how her future should be or what may give her happiness. She have not thought about it, But imbibed from her environment (comparing from the groom her best friend got) and took them to be non-negotiable and measuring each potential match on this yards scale. As of now she has paused her search and is in no hurry to take an immediate jump for her marriage.The answers she came were astonishing for her; because
As a Coach, when i work with people, I help them think deeply and to simple questions like What do you want? What would you do now? How do you feel about this situation? How important is this aspect for you? the usual answer is i don’t know. This is where past conditioning and judgements have gotten them and is not helping them move forward and by saying “i Don’t know” they are refusing to even think.
Eventually, all these clients learn to think deeply and that is where their life Blooms; Unless someone is willing to think deeply to uncover their unconscious biases and Blind spots, the or she is being a victim of his/ her own Emotions and conditioning which replaced deep thinking.
I am quoting Dr. Marshall Goldsmith here “What got you here won’t get you there”; The journey is still on, You have reached here but to go beyond and move forward you may need to do more than what you have done so far and it isn’t the same thing that you have mastered till now.
So now I invite you to ask a question to yourself ” Do you really think?”
I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
– Numb by Linkin park
Life is Good, Cheers!
This question have bothered me too in past when i had a regular job, I used to think “Is there something wrong with my work life balance? ”
Is it okay that i spend more time at work?
Am i okay?
I chose to do something about it and could only see clearly what i wanted! Recently i was requested to write about my thoughts on Work-Life balance.
I am not an expert but like many of you i am sharing a point of view and i could be wrong! So i really appreciate that you are reading further and considering this just as a view point and not necessarily your truth.
A video widely circulated on Social media emphasised that “You only live 7 years”, and the rest pass by without you even knowing where it went. Logically it makes sense; However since when do we as a mass follow all logics presented to us.
Let us look at the life span average Worldwide, the average life expectancy according to United Nations WorldPopulation Prospects 2015 Revision, 69 years (67 years for males and 71.1 years for females) for 2016.
Out of this 69 Years, Broadly 8 Hours per day goes into sleeping, 8 Hours at Work and the Balance 8 Hours is what you spend with friends, family, travelling and other chores.
Let us look at few scenarios that depicts these 8 Hours and how they interact with the other area and the consequences.
1. Our Expectation
We love to believe deep down that Life is Fair and we live in an Ideal Situation. This is how we look at our Life with respect to what our expectation is! An Ideal Situation where you have uninterrupted full 8 Hours of Sleep, Fix 8 Hours of Work and 8 Hours available for your Personal Life.
This is Ideal and a lot of us are running after the Mirage which keeps us running indefinitely and getting frustrated.
However this is not unachievable for some people who work from home, people opting for jobs closer to Home and Homemakers.
2. Stress and Burnout
In this situation people tend to experience immense stress and eventually Burnout. This tend to happen when fear takes over, when priorities are entangled, cluttered and are in conflicts. It also happens when one is exposed to a Highly competitive culture or insecure environment. we are used to broom important concerns under the carpet of ambition only to find hollow success in the end and realising that the race we were running or winning was not the one that we wanted to.
if you look at the Overlap areas, These are taken up by Work commutation, Social Media, Mobile, Watching TV. The only way to get some balance is to rearrange priorities and push aside anything that takes up your time.
Many years back i stopped watching TV completely, It was once when i sat down to sharpen my axe and find where exactly my time is going only to realise that about 25+ Hours went into watching TV.
What was TV for me then is now Social Media and Mobile addiction for others. It seems as if we are living in a state of slumber, keeping our minds busy; Its a state of mindlessness rather than mindfulness.
The world as communication jungle , where its very noisy, There are lot of insignificant (individualistic) things around us that takes away our time and attention that we are used to keep ourself engaged. Even worse is we move from one addiction to another; and when few of us have nothing to do, we take up alcohol to numb our senses. Think about it ……The moments of friendship that we enjoyed in our childhood is replaced by coming together only to have drinks and numb ourself to all that we enjoyed then.
3. Living on Weekends
This is a norm they are trying to achieve by compensating with 2 days weekend; But it seems as if life is loved on weekends alone; and the trend have picked up fast enough across the world.
TGIF or “thank God its Friday” Syndrome, A Friday that is spent in a hurry only to rush home or to nearest pub an hour earlier than usual. Friday evenings spent meeting friends, partying hard; Lazing at home all the weekend until Monday comes and one wonders where did the weekend go?
Until the day they wake up and wanting to add more meaning to their life; And this appears to be the best coping mechanism. Here one is not living the life they want; But taking out their angst and seeking vengeance on the infringement of their personal life.
However there are others who rather than complain have accepted the life they have chosen and use this time effectively, unwind with family, taken up a hobby, travel to a weekend destination as well as plan their week ahead.
4. Life Driven by Passion
In this case, one is driven by passion and love for the work that they do. Knowing what you are passionate about is easy however for most its a life long journey and a few others never able to find their True Passion.
One can see people leading life driven by passion as Soldiers, Doctors, Coaches, Researchers, Wild Life experts, Palaeontologists, Travellers, Bloggers.
They keep doing what they do without any regret or complain. They put their heart and soul into what they do; they do not run after the Material Pleasures or Money; to them only thing that matters is the achievement through their passion.
Given a choice they would lead life the way they did and the only thing they might change is start much earlier than they did. This is the state of being fearless; doing what they love and loving what they do!
This may seem glorified, But i am not saying that all of us should be taking this approach; I mean each of us have a unique place to hold and it is not pre-decided but it is your choice to make and live by one way or another.
All you need is to make peace with your choice or amend what is not okay with you.
It is critical for us to maintain a Work-Life balance and not compromise on sleep; The personal Life time is required for sharpening the Axe Often, For optimum Output the three areas need to be Balanced.
Each to his own, There is no Thumb rule to how you live life or other should. Consider life an Examination venue, where each came with a unique set of question paper and there is no point to copying the answer from someone else. Since your question is not same as the other person; and you have to make your own set of choices and your own answer.
Since there are too many variables and Unique life styles and career options, It is obvious to have some overlaps in Work-Life areas; But you have a choice on how to deal with it and are not in reality helpless.
Work Life Balance is a Myth to all those who are unable to Balance what they want and what they have based on the set of choices they have made; However it is a reality for those who were able get an empowering clarity and found their answers and are leading a life of fulfilment.
As a Life coach, Each of my client brought up this as an area of concern and as outcome got their unique answer that they chose to make their life fulfilling.
So what are you choosing to do about it?
Life is Good, Cheers!
Rohit (Geet) Batra
(Marshall Goldsmith & GrowMore Certified Coach)
Mobile – 9811175380
Email – firstname.lastname@example.org
Time is Ruthless, and some even call it an Enemy.
Of course Time waits for no body, stops for no one, Because all it knows is to Run at its consistent speed and it always do it well with finesse and Mastery.
Time is the best teacher and the lesson is keep the focus come what may.
It may appear that you have enough time, But deep down you know that every second is precious, even trillion dollars won’t recover the time lost. Ask an athlete who lost a medal for a fraction of second or someone who had hair breadth escape in an accident.
You may look at the following where time went past ahead of you
– Pending Promotion
– Your relationships at work or personal life not improving
– Are you getting into same painful situation again and again
– That Degree or certification you want to pursue
– That trip to your dream place with your spouse, kids or parents.
– Health Check up/ Fitness Regime
– Following your heart and do what you love
Have you missed out on time again and again? Do you Procrastinate?
Procrastination is not a habit, if you introspect you would find a reason to each thing that you have not taken up.
if you are ready follow these 4 steps, You will get back to running along time at the required pace.
The first step is knowing, being aware and acknowledge that time is running and you are at a stand still platform.
Find out how does not taking an action in time have costed you, How long will you bear the cost.
The stagnancy spares no one, And if you are unaware of it you would not know what hit you all this while and will be externalising the blame to circumstances, people or anyone other than you.
Your Life is your responsibility and no one else have the power to shape it …..But you!
Ask “why” until you have all the answers, Answering one question with only one answer may not serve, keep exploring different answers, Self awareness is the key.
Here you must be willing to take ownership and be confronted by yourself; The point is to know the reason and every possible reason. here i am not asking to beat yourself up for not moving, But to do something about it.
Guilt is the lowest forms of emotion, Instead move towards Hopefulness, Optimism, Passion, Enthusiasm, clarity, Empowerment, Love, Joy and your Freedom.
Once you know the reason/s, now is the time to focus on each reason and how to eliminate them one by one.
Question for now is what, How to achieve will be in the next step; Look at all possible outcomes to eliminate the reason.
This may require some external expertise to help you replace a disempowering belief. Go for it!
Unless you cover the previous 3 steps of Acknowledgement, Reason and Clarity, Jumping to actions will be like shooting in Dark.
If you acknowledge that time is Running and you are at a standstill, then please also consider that shooting in dark is not an Option anymore.
getting what you want may require effort (not anxiety), it may require massive action (focused) and it will be worth it!
Remember Massive actions get you Massive outcomes.
You know it or not….”Coaching always works”, It has worked in past and with many, if you are ready, it will work for you too.
Your time is now!
A Coach will use Specific tools that were proven and are result driven. You would be surprised by some of them and how they work.
“Not everyone have a Lighthouse by their side” And you have a choice to have one.
Be ready to run along with time and let it lead you to your aspirations; All you need is some light to look around and focus on where you want to be.
You may also like to explore some of these standard sessions with me such as:-
and many more.
For more Visit Client Speak
Life is Good, Cheers!
Rohit (Geet) Batra
(Marshall Goldsmith & GrowMore Certified Coach)
Mobile – 9811175380
Email – email@example.com
Click to schedule a call with me
This is something I have heard from many; And many wanted to shout it out on top of their lungs!
And the underlying emotions could be overwhelming!
Are you among them too???
Ask yourself “What part or aspects of your job do you hate?
The usual answer I receive…
“I hate my work, I hate my projects & assignments, I hate my clients, I hate my colleagues, I hate my role, I hate my workstation, I hate the travelling time, I hate the coffee they serve & even the Sycophant security guard who makes me feel as if i am the CEO.”
In that case I can’t stop wondering “If you hate everything, then why are you even in this job?”
The most exasperated and easiest answer is “I don’t Know”;
Ask yourself if you hate everything about your job, Do you hate getting paid too???
My dear readers, tell me what could the answer be? 😀
Surprisingly this situation is faced by most people; who have worked in this same job for years and the next majority are people who have just started their career and going steady.
If you hate your job then what makes you stay here? Are you caged? Held against your will or at a Gun Point? What is it that you have done about it?
While they hate their job; most of them have absolutely no threat of losing the job or getting fired?
This is a classic situation of playing dead, Playing dead is when you choose to do nothing and all your energy is absorbed in complaining and cribbing about it. Neither do you choose to fight courageously with the situation nor do you choose to quit and get a job that you would love.
Remember you are never without a choice, Comfort zone, Doing nothing is also a choice fight or flight. Nobody caged you, But yourself!
if you choose to fight, How would it be when you move from being disengaged, disenchanted, disappointed to giving an Outstanding performance and start loving your job.
And if you choose flight, then Imagine being in a job that you love and wake up for every morning.!
The choice is yours!
Happy to work with you in either case of Fight or Flight!
Playing dead is not an option because Nobody ever have seen graves moving!
Life is Good, Cheers!
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